The Pain Within

You hurt me, cut me so deep.
Continued so far, I could hardly speak
About what you did to me, I kept to myself
And in the process, slowly lost my mental health.
You made me grow up faster than expected,
All so you could have your successes reflected
In my eyes, in your body, in your mind, in my heart.
You broke me down so much, I had to start
All over again, learn how to be happy
And in the process, I finally learned how to free
Myself from you and your oppressive state.
I've learned to truly love, and will no longer take the bait
Of manipulation you love to dangle
And how some other girl has gotten entangled
In your crafty ways, but I say nothing.
She won't believe me, since I'm a past fling.
This time around, you've changed for the better
Still manipulative, yes, but not letting it fester
Into an insatiable need for love, for warmth,
For everything I was to you, before disappearing into the dark
Abyss that is my mind, my memories of you.
Apparently you've forgotten all that you needed to do
To me, so that I could show you my love.
I cry freely, because your feelings disappeared quick as a dove.
You never loved me the way you claimed.
I was left alone, with only me to blame
For all my shortcomings, my failures, my flaws,
Myself, and all that governs me, those laws
Of my nature, and of yours.
You left me, cold, alone, forlorn.
You don't remember anything we did.
To cope with the pain, you ran and hid.
Leaving me to deal with everything head on
Sometimes, I didn't want to go on.
I hate you. I love you. I need you no more.
Think of what you've done, the heart you've adorned
With pain, with love, with hate, with despair.
Please, remember me, show me that you truly care.


Written July 1, 2008