Somehow, She Still Wants You Around

Somehow, after all you’ve been through,
All the pain she’s experienced at your hand,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after everything you did to her,
Exploited her in the worst way,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after crying herself to sleep on multiple occasions,
Wanting to kick and claw at you when the memories became too hard,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after moving on,
Refusing to talk to you, think about you, look at you,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after all the years apart,
She sees you, and doesn’t feel hatred, so
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after hearing your apologies,
Trying to be the better person,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after becoming friends again,
Sharing secrets even her best friend doesn’t know,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after letting the walls fall,
The ones she constructed to keep you, and only you, out,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after admitting to herself what she wants,
Deciding she wants to do something about it,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after she held you in her arms,
Knowing full well it was for a short amount of time,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after you assured her all was well,
Chalking it up to having a lot of thoughts in your head,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after no contact for a week,
No attempt to reassure her,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after thinking maybe she wasn’t worth it,
Disgusting, repulsive, the whore she once knew,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after beating herself up for driving you away,
Not hurting for herself, only for the lost friendship,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after figuring out what happened,
You running off with the girl she knew you would,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after wanting to beat your head in,
Crying, because she knows it will pass as soon as you apologize,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after thinking about it and still not being hurt,
Realizing that maybe she was denying something more,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after having multiple epiphanies concerning you and her,
Desires, lies, routines,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after letting you know it affects her,
Not speaking, not reassuring, though you know how her thoughts go,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, after everything, she still wants to do it again,
Knowing full well what will happen in the end,
She still wants you around.

Somehow, you have some inexplicable hold on her
That you don’t even realize.
She still wants you around.

Written June 2, 2009