I Understand

I've been through a lot this year,
Gone through many changes;
Changed for the worst. I fear
that I'm someone I don't want to be.
You and I, me and him, look at what I've done
How much fun we once had,
Now, alone, I'm the only one.
I've pushed you both away,
I'm left to clean this up;
Instead, I'm making a bigger mess,
Waiting for a chance to jump -
And reclaim what I've lost.
I've heard of wanting someone so bad it hurts
Never quite understood how that could happen.
Now, watching you stand there and flirt -
And looking at your picture I still keep -
I understand.

Written December 2006